green lane

green lane

fear bubbles in my
stomach
my body’s all out of
sync
i’ve never been so
alone
as this

my fate
entrusted to strangers
i sit
desolate
upon the bed
inside the room with
anaemic walls
that are closing in with every
breath
i cannot cry
i do not feel
my life is not a play in which
i have a role

i am stripped of all that once I was
because I am rotten

they tell me i’m ill
not safe to be
alone
and so they watch me
like i am entertainment
i watch me too
as i do all that i am told
with no questions
no words

i am destroyed by the
shocks
that burn
compliance
into my
brain
they leave me
vacant hazy heavy lost
dead

i wonder if i will ever escape

i wonder if i really care