another me

I started writing this poem a few months ago, but only got a couple of verses in before my attention wandered to other projects. This morning, with my depressive head screwed firmly on, I finished it.

another me

in another life
when i was another me
i wore perfume every day
dressed in heels
femininity bubbling
i spoke to people and
looked in their eyes

in another life
when i was a lighter me
i smiled for
no reason
my body zinged with
energy and zeal
a social butterfly rarely
faltering

in another life
when i was a confident me
i went out at night
and partied well
until the
tiredness
came and glued me to the wall
like a fly breaking its wings
on sticky paper

in another life
when i was a happier me
i had parents and
they told me of their lives
dad’s love of music
mum’s love in her arms
a kiss atop my head
filled with love and
safety

in another life
when i still had a fraction of me
i had identities
a daughter
employee
friend
carer
titles erased
leave bottomless holes

in this life
which is losing the last of me
i watch the world
as it dances around my edges
but i’m all out of moves
i’ve been hiding so long
i’m not really here any more

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